In a box under her bed is where her fairytale lives,
One red rose, dried but still beautiful.
Her dad had said it was the first rose he gave to her mom,
The first and only love of his life
That love that was lost when her mom passed away.
Too young to remember much,
She remembers only a time when her father smiled,
When he was happy and she knew she was loved.
The rose was just something that had survived,
From another time, when life seemed to be a happier place.

She grew and moved on with no thanks to anyone,
Because there wasn’t a soul left in her life to count on.
School just wasn’t for her and she disappeared without a word,
The last trace of her was in the grade ten yearbook.
Just surviving from day to day
Sometimes lucky to have a bed or a roof over her head.
Because of her untidy appearance, she soon lost her job
And moved in permanently to the alley streets.

She made some shady friends, if you could call them that
They really weren’t there to help her,
No one was there to help anybody.
Using her to do favours for them every now and then,
Stealing food, clothes, alcohol, cigarettes,
Whatever it was that they wanted.
A few run ins in the law, but nothing serious
How is it that they just turned their eyes,
On a fifteen year old girl barely making it alive.

At the end of her rope she made a deal with a man,
Taking her first step out on to that street corner.
A deep breath to calm her shaking body,
She took a step into that stranger’s car,
And that’s how she did it every time.
Pretending that it was fine, no big deal
Just closed her eyes and pretended she wasn’t there.

He told her that after a few times it wouldn’t matter
It wouldn’t be a big deal anymore, but he was wrong.
No one gets used to just giving themselves over
Having her entire self sold on the market,
Each time it hurt as much as the last
She just cried less after each time,
But she just kept breaking on the inside.

Making a name for herself, he had money in his eyes,
Moving her to an apartment just above the alley.
He dressed her in new clothes, putting her on display
The list of her clients grew and it became never ending.
Being awaken in the late hours of night,
She entertained his drunken friends.

She ran out of happy places stored away in her mind
Instead she began to create these illusions for herself.
Taking a drag of whatever someone was smoking
Resting an almost empty bottle on her shaking knee.
They all said it made her more relaxed and willing,
She told herself that it helped her to forget,
To remember less.

Life up here should’ve been better
A roof over her head and a bed she sometimes called her own.
But she felt just as cold up here as she did down there
But there she had some freedom
She was that young fifteen year old girl.
What if she could just go down again
Just keep on walking until the ground met the sky.

Did her mom watch her and see what she could’ve been?
Wish to hold her in her arms another time.
What if she could forget all of her past,
All of those nights curled up under the sheets
Scared to sleep not knowing what the night would bring.
The times when she hurt so much
But no one ever seemed to care.
The days where she wore the marks
Of those from the nights before.

How does such a young girl get here?
Broken, dead, and alone
Hiding in rose red clothes.
And no one will remember her name,
Not the people that used her
Not the men that abused her.
What kind of tears would fall
If a rose started to cry?

Vashtiy.♥

I’m 18 and I can’t help feeling so young, but at the same time I feel so much older.  All I know is that I entered into a new stage of my life when I let him come in.  All I know is that I wouldn’t want to be making these memories with anyone else.

I used to always be scared that if I were to have sex, he would never stick around.  I believed that he would leave and feel no need for a commitment.  As if the thought of having sex was a bargaining chip to keep him in my life.

I guess what I’ve learned is that if you’re going to leave, you’ll leave no matter what.  But I sure do hope you’re one of the staying kinds.

After having sex, I am much happier with my overall self.  Maybe it’s because you’ve seen me completely exposed, connected with me, and come away from it satisfied and still loving me.

But at the same time, I do want to make a few changes.  I have this new motivation and determination to make myself better.  I want to be healthy for you, in shape, and looking as good as you make me feel.

I know you’re not in this just for the sex, so I don’t even have that concern.  You were willing to wait until I was ready and didn’t make a big deal of it.  I also know it wouldn’t have a negative effect on our relationship if we went a bit without it.

I’m sorry, but I do have this fear every time we make love.  What if something goes wrong?  What if birth control doesn’t work for me, and what if the condom breaks?  I’m in college; I don’t want to be pregnant.  My family and some of my friends wouldn’t approve.  Would you stick around?  Would you still love me?

Remember when you told me: ‘I’ve heard girls become really attached to the guy they lose their virginity to.’  I remember I told you that I would most likely be one of those girls.

So tell me, is that a bad thing?  Because I feel more attached to you than before.  Does that scare you?  Because it scares me sometimes, that I’ve never loved a guy before.  But it’s one of those good kinds of scares, more like an amazement that blows my mind.  You’re one of the first things I think of when I wake up and the last thing that makes me smile before I close my eyes to sleep.  You make me so completely happy and I know that I would do anything in this world to make sure you’re safe and happy too.

Sex doesn’t change the relationship all that much.  But it did create a connection and our relationship isn’t suffering because of it. 

I confess that sex scares me, amazes me, and I love it all at the same time. 

And I confess that I’m sorry and ashamed that I wrote this.

Vashtiy.♥

I never knew what it was like to have a boyfriend.  Have someone who cared about me, someone to hold hands with, kiss, and experience pleasures that I was naïve to.

I was so innocent when we started dating.  You didn’t rush me into things that I wasn’t ready for.

I trusted you.  I let you touch me in places that made me blush.  Running your warm hands along my secret areas, exploring inside, you gave me pleasure.

Soon I was ready to return the favor.  I love the feeling of your smooth, long shaft as it hardens in my mouth.

It was all so new to me.  We had talked about sex, but I was never ready.  I had always said that I was going to wait.  It was very important to me.  I didn’t just want to give it away and it was so hard not to give in.

That night you had me going.  Your warm body lay on top of mine, thrusting.  Passionate kisses enveloped my lips.  I wanted it, I wanted you, but we waited.

The next day, it was decided, I would give myself to you.  Freshly waxed, I climbed into the warm shower.  I took extra time making sure every part of me was perfectly clean.

My stomach was full of butterflies and nerves as I got dressed.  I perfected everything from my hair, to my makeup, to my scent.

You picked me up and we had a nice dinner.  Could you tell I was anxious when I talked with you?

We didn’t rush right into your bedroom.  I love how you cared more about me than the sex. 

As the night progressed I found myself in your arms.  I was nervous and scared. I had little idea of what to expect, but I put all of my faith in you.  Even though my heart was pounding and my mind was racing, I desired to share in this with you.

You took your time and I found myself lost in your kisses, in your heat, in your movements, in being there with you. 

Your body lay on mine and I felt safe.  With each movement, each increase of intensity; I was slowly becoming more comfortable.

What if it hurt?  What if I regretted it?  What if I became pregnant?  What if, in the end, it didn’t mean as much to you as it did to me?  And what if I didn’t measure up to the girls in your past?

Your deep kisses sent those questions from my mind.  Sitting up, you pulled off your shirt and I stroked your muscles as you began to pull off my shirt.  Removing my bra, you stroked my breasts and met them with your lips.

You undid my pants with your teeth and I helped you take off yours.  I lay there feeling more naked than I ever had before.  Exposed in a way I can’t explain.  You covered my bare body with yours and warmed me.

You inserted yourself into me slowly and you watched my face to make sure I was okay.  Inside of me shook as I felt you enter.  It didn’t hurt, just tender as I felt you slowly stretch me.

Your one hand stretched out to hold my hand.  Leaning down to kiss me, I whispered ‘I love you’ and you breathed it back into my mouth.

Tenderly you pushed into me and slowly pulled out.  The sensations were amazing and it seemed to complete me in an unexplainable way.  I wanted more.

I felt so close to you at that moment.  Like nothing could tear us apart, or take this moment from us.  Sex is a soul connection, I was joined to you.  Maybe you find that idea silly, I don’t know.

I loved how you were warm and hard, how you expanded the fleshy walls inside of me.  You made me so wet, making each motion smoother.

Your pace quickened and the sensations became more intense.  With each thrust, my body rose to meet them.  I wanted it faster, I wanted it deeper.

The tip was slightly larger than your shaft and it hit areas in me that made me want to orgasm. 

You grabbed at my hips, moving my body, and with one hand you massaged my breasts. 

Hearing your voice speaking to me, telling me how much you liked being in me; it increased my longing.  My responses came out in no more than a whisper, overwhelmed by desire.

The feeling of you in me seemed so right, you fit so well. 

I was completely surrounded by stimulation, beyond what my mind could even understand.  I relaxed, I let myself loose a little, and I came.  A small, warm release and I blushed when I felt it.  As we kept going, the experience seemed much more intense. 

I could feel you coming close.  Each movement was harder, faster, and deeper.  A few more thrusts and you tensed.  With moans of pleasure I felt you let go in me.  I love the feeling of experiencing your satisfaction.

Laying back down on me, you kissed me.  Then, carefully, you withdrew.  I was reluctant to let you leave. 

With exhausted kisses you wrapped your strong arms around me.  I could feel your heart going in your chest and I’m sure mine was doing the same.  It was done.

I don’t regret giving myself to you, letting you share in what I treasure so much.  I love that I waited.  I am slightly surprised that I actually did it, that I love you that much.

I love how I feel so connected to you.  You now hold a piece of me that I can never take back.  Please hold on to it with respect, treasure it, and understand what it means to me.

I love you.

Vashtiy. ♥

by Velante

Late at night, by myself, I take the time for me. I spend too much time rushing from event to event, pleasing others around me, or letting you please me. So tonight it’s all about me and my body.

I turn the lights down low and lock the door. Slowly I take off all my clothes and leave them laying by my bed. Sitting in front of the mirror I watch the way the candles shine, outlining each of my curves.

I brush my hair out of my face and innocently smile at my reflection. Almost embarrassed to be staring at my naked body right now.
Licking my lips slowly, I admire how they glisten. I notice a couple of freckles strategically placed on my face. My glasses frame my eyes and I enjoy staring into them.

My long, thin neck leads me to my shoulders and chest. Two round breasts, what I think must be the perfect size. Enough to create a nice, round shape, but not large enough to sag. I trace a circle around one of my nipples. As I slowly feel the soft skin beneath my fingers, I begin to warm and my nipples become plump.

I widen my circles to encompass the whole breast. Placing a hand on each breast, I feel their shape and lift them slightly to sense their weight. As I massage them slowly, increasing in speed, I watch how they move, how my cleavage comes together.

Slowly I run my hands down my body, to the curves of my hips, feeling the smoothness of my skin. I trace around my belly button and run my hands down into my inner thighs.

I pass it by for now and run my hands down my long legs. I watch in the mirror as they are slightly parted, a full view of all that makes me woman.

Carefully I touch, caressing the soft skin. I delicately touch my clit and experience the sensations. I alternate between watching between me legs and watching my reflection in the mirror. I am curious.

With tentative fingers I pull back the skin ever so slightly. Slowly entering my fingers into my vagina, I watch curiously as the folds of skin kiss the edges of my fingers. Trying to close over this secret place that creates so much pleasure.

I take my time to feel the textures and appreciate the sensations. It’s a soft tissue, but when I apply pressure I feel the firmness. Penetrating a bit deeper I can feel the texture of raised bumps. I stroke it with more pressure. An unusual sensation, experiencing it from inside and from outside.

The further I push in and the faster I pull out, the more intense the sensation. With each thrust I become more moist. This urge inside me wants more, wants it stronger.

My breathing becomes more heavy and I look over my shoulder to be sure that my door is locked. It feels so wrong pleasing myself this way, but it feels so right.

Just at my peak, when I can’t take it anymore, I tentatively remove my fingers. I slow down my breath as I sit there in awe of the emotions I was able to create within myself.

I look down between my legs and nothing really has changed, it looks no different than it did before it was touched. But the tingling in my core tells me otherwise.

Studying my reflection again, it is like I am seeing myself for the first time. Being able to experience what it’s like to give, what it’s like to receive, and see it all as if an observer.

This sensitivity, this sexual consciousness, it’s what makes me female. It’s a large part of who I am.

And this young woman that I am, I give to you.

Vashtiy. ♥

Leave the lights on, dimming them tends to set a romantic mood. Music is optional, but nothing quiet and sweet. This isn’t planned, it’s spur of the moment.

Push me on to the bed and place yourself over top of me. When I struggle against you, I long to feel your strength keep me in place. Hold me down and show me who’s in charge of this night.

Take off my clothes, leave me naked and exposed. Then take off your clothes, your muscles rippling. Look at my body in front of you, it is yours tonight. Do as you please with it. Do naughty things with it, do naughty things to me, make me do naughty things to you.

You know I want it, but I won’t admit it. Lower yourself slightly on top of me and place your fingers inside of me. Don’t bother with being gentle. Finger me with vigour until I’m squirming. Then suddenly withdraw.

Place your hands on top of my head and lower me, bringing me closer to you. Place yourself above my face, force yourself into my mouth. Fuck my face like you would fuck a whore. Gag me slightly every now and then. Demean me, slap your dick against my body, against my face.

You won’t cum inside me because you have plans for that erection. Hurriedly you’ll pull on your condom.

Grab some rope and tie me to the bed. Gag my mouth too if you feel like it. It will hinder any escape or calling for any help.

Don’t take your time, if you don’t want me naked leave my lingerie on. Pull down my thong a bit, just enough for you to gain access to me.

Enter with command, dominate me. Fuck me forcefully. If I protest, don’t listen. Pound me harder and faster.

Just before you reach your peak remove yourself from me. Hastily untie me and order me to get on my hands and knees. Secretly I want you back inside of me, but I won’t tell you that. Behind my shut mouth I am dieing for you to manipulate me some more.

Enter me from behind and I’ll take all of you in my ass. Use all your strength and hammer it in. You are in total command. Treat me like I’m worthless. This is all about you and your pleasure in the moment.

Smack my ass, pull on my hair, grab at my flesh, let my back arch in pleasure that I refuse to admit.

And then release inside of me or on me. Push me back to lie down. It’s over, you conquered me, and I took it.

I want to be subjugated to your control, to your power, and to your authority. Rape me, take me over.

Leave me breathless. Leave me used and abused. Leave me in a dishevelled mess.

Just so long as you love me rough.

Vashtiy. ♥

Hold my hand when we walk outside. Open the passenger door for me. Turn my head and steal a kiss before we drive away.

Take me to my favourite restaurant. Open the doors for me, and direct me to our table with your hand on my lower back. Order a small meal and share a dessert.

When we leave let’s not rush to get back home. That will come in time. Let’s relax and enjoy the view and the time with each other.

Don’t jump into the events of the night, let them unfold. Let’s talk, watch a movie, play a game, listen to music, just lay in each other’s arms.

Behind closed doors let your finger graze against my breasts. Outline the glimpse of cleavage that I’m revealing. Trace my jaw line and cheek. Lay me down bit by bit, brush my hair out of my face. Kiss me gently, let me feel the heat of your breath against my neck.

Slowly undress me, taking your time to admire. Undo my jeans with your teeth and take off my thong with your mouth. Let the warmth of your body heat mine. Don’t rush, appreciate who I am and what is going on. Whisper in my ear, tell me I’m beautiful.

In the shower watch the water stream down my pure skin. Let the steam fill the bathroom. I desire to see your body with beads of water trailing down your rippling muscles. Let me catch each drop on my tongue.

Hold me close to you. I want to feel your warm, wet skin slip against mine. Marvel at me as I stand before you totally exposed to all that I am. When I climb out, wrap me up in a towel with you. Look into my eyes, ask permission to please me.

By the fire, turn down all the other lights. When it’s cold outside and the snow if falling, I just want to be in your arms so much more. Under blankets, the smell of hot chocolate nearby. Admire the shadows that the fire plays across my face. Smile when I blush from the heat of the flames and passion of the moment.

Lay down with me and hold me tightly in your arms. Feeling your heart beat against my skin, not a sound but the crackling of fire and deep breathing. Under the covers of a blanket, let’s light our own fire. And when the fire starts to die down, don’t make a move to replenish the wood.

In the evenings of the summer, take me out somewhere far away where we can’t be found. Let’s make a tent and lay under the stars. In the quiet breeze of the air, let’s listen to the sounds of nature. I’ll make a wish on a star, but won’t tell you what it is.

Make love to me that lasts. Let’s fall asleep staring at the sky and awake to the sunrise. In awe of it’s beauty take me in your arms and love me again.

Wherever it is that we may be, hold me, squeeze me, cherish me, love me, please me. I love that look in your eyes when you’re trying to please me, that look that you care. I enjoy being able to appreciate every moment and take pleasure in it all.

I sometimes just need those days, at just a slower pace.

Vashtiy. ♥

Your eyes meet mine and my heart races. You slowly climb over me, on top of me, covering me. Your power and control hangs over me and I give it to you willingly. I trust you and like your authority over me, even if it’s for a moment, it’s just so right.

I watch your lips, slightly parted with steady and heavy breathing. Open them farther and come receive mine. You lick my lips slowly with your warm tongue, I nibble and suck gently. Exploring my mouth I pull your tongue in more.

Each kiss, you push in closer to my body. I take in your warmth as it covers me. Take off my clothes and I’ll take off yours, I want to feel your skin. Undress me slowly and take in the view of my nakedness. Undo my pants and look into my eyes, no need to ask permission, but I enjoy that look you give me.

You’ll go ahead and take off your shirt and I’ll watch your muscles ripple. I trace over them with my fingers. I’ll undo your pants, but leave your briefs on for now.

Then you come back on me. A couple of kisses and I release you to taste the rest of me. Your soft kisses trace my neck. Nibble on my ear, I can feel your heat and hear each intake of breath. Slowly you move down to my breasts, watching my face. Delicately suck on my nipples, swirl around it in a circle with your tongue. Bite down slightly and pull up. Use your hands and massage them.

Place your hands under the small of my back and lift me slightly when you go down. Take care at my belly button. Let your sucking alternate with pushing your tongue in. Get me going just enough to carry on.

Take the time to appreciate the smooth skin down there. Trace over it with your tongue. I long for your warm breath. Love my cunt. Whether you adore it tame or desire it wild, claim my pussy as yours. Start out gentle and slow. Place your finger in me and don’t stop. I close my eyes as I give in and open them to watch your face.

I pull you out just before I am at the point of breaking. I take off your briefs and visually take you in. Sitting up, I meet you for a kiss. Whisper in my mouth and I will answer when I take you in my mouth.

Letting my wet tongue make slow circles around the tip, I slowly pull more of you into my mouth. Using my tongue to stroke you bit by bit. Pressing you up against the roof of my mouth, I bite down gently. Opening wide, I take you into my throat. I feel you harden as you wish to go in farther. It turns me on.

When I know that you are going to burst soon, I withdraw. I watch as you put on the condom. My breathing is strong and so is yours. My body has become hot and your face is damp.

Carefully you insert yourself while massaging my inner thighs. I love the pressure of trying to get in, and the unusual sensations. I go crazy when you dominate me. I am your slave, do with me as you please. Thrust deeply into me as you penetrate my ass, and I want it.

When I feel like being dirty I’ll take it from behind. Rape me and tie me down. Don’t listen to my protests. When I feel like just experiencing you, lay me down. Push up against my body, press into me. Take control over and force yourself on me.

You listen for my approvals, moans, and groans. You thrust in farther, pull out faster, and kiss more intensely. I grab at you and pull you closer to me, into me.

I can hear it coming. Your heavy breathing quickens and you let out moans of pleasure. I feel it. Your body tenses and you thrust. I feel it ripple down the length of your shaft. I watch your face as you come inside me. I am aroused by it all.

Then it’s done. You withdraw carefully. I kiss your parched lips and the salt in your sweat lingers on my tongue. Desire lingers in me and I feel like I can go at it again.

Wrapped up in your arms, I love being right there. I am yours and you are mine. The best part of it all.

So, fuck me like a whore, tease me to insanity, or pleasure me like a princess. Take me over again.

Vashtiy. ♥